News Flash: You can’t do it all on your own

38 Amazing Motivational And Inspirational Quotes:

Sometimes I catch myself complaining about small things. But once I do, I stop and remind myself that things can be a lot worse than what it really is. Before, I had a tendency to rant about unnecessary things but what good is it that I complain on social media – of all places! Only to share with the world my personal struggles that really have nothing to do with them. Personally, when I read a cry for help my instincts immediately react to want to help. I know when I would do it, it wasn’t really a cry for help but more of way to vent. But deep down inside I must admit, I would wish someone would reach out to me to offer me a solution. And now that I’ve found a solution and way to change my mindset to think more positively, I can’t help but share that with the world. The most unfortunate thing, though, is when no one will listen. We have to stop that thought that we can do it all on our own. And I’ve learned that the hard way. The things I would complain about are things that I’ve created myself. And that’s my own fault. As a Leo, I stand tall and want to fix problems on my own. I hate asking for help knowing that I need it. Then I look around me, and see so many people “vent” on social media, and I think to myself : why is it that I turn away from those willing to help me? I am blessed to know that I have so many people on my corner WANTING me to succeed. I think it’s sad knowing that the world is so full of negativity, that once one negative thing happens to you it’s impossible for you to acknowledge what’s positive. I was listening to a Podcast from Ed Mylett and he said  “Things don’t happen to you, it happens for you”. Good or bad. Accept it. You can’t dwell on what’s going wrong in your life. You can’t always share when something goes wrong for you. If you are putting it out there, people are listening. It kills me inside knowing that someone is asking for help but won’t accept it. When it’s laid out for you. I’m not saying that the path that I am on now is perfect and clear skies. There are going to be major bumps in the road. But just the fact that I am able to change the way I think, change the way I feel, the POSITIVE impact it is making on this journey, the acceptance that people are there to help me for a reason, has made me so grateful for where I am today. I can’t sit back anymore and think that I can do it all on my own. It’s impossible. I can’t afford to complain about things so little when I see that things could be so much worse. We aren’t where we want to be… yet. Our family isn’t perfect. We’ve got a long way to go. But I’m glad to know that there are so many people cheering us on, reaching out their hand to pull us up when we fall, and waiting for us with a huge banner above their heads – confetti and all – right at the finish line.

Advertisements

More love, Less hate

It took me awhile to cope with everything that has been going on in our world today. It took me awhile to really grasp what has happened. So many issues have been arriving just in the past few weeks alone. Rape, racial issues, Trump, Orlando, Chicago, gun control – everything is so tragic. But the one thing I get from all of this is how am I going to teach my children to have them understand the world that we live in. My kids are too young now to really know what is going on in the world. But it doesn’t mean I can’t start teaching them now.

The tragic events that happened at Pulse nightclub revolved around hate and discrimination – not only through the actions of the shooter but also how people reacted to it. Whether the issue was about race, sexuality, religion, guns… their is a valuable lesson behind all this and that is equality. Everyone has their own views and opinions on race, sexuality, religion and what not, but for me, I want to be able to teach my children about equality. Treat people fairly. Just because they look different than you, smell different, eat different, in reality they are no different than you. Teach peace. Teach our children to respect other people, other cultures, other religions. Yes, there are those people that do horrible things and I pray they seek peace within themselves. But teach our children that violence is never the answer. Treat others the way they want to be treated. Teach them while they’re young, while they haven’t been fully exposed to the world yet. So that the generations that follow us can make this world better again.

It’s scary out there. But I’m hopeful the future will look better…

Rape is rape

 

Yesterday I started writing about how I felt about the whole issue with Brock Turner and how it hits me on a more personal level but I decided to erase it. Reading the story and the outcome of it all left me with so much anger and frustration. But, no matter how much I expressed my feelings about it it wouldn’t change the fact that his sentence is – well, a joke. So many issues lie under this situation, and blaming the victim in this should not be one of them. Like she said in her letter – yes, alcohol was a factor, and she shouldn’t have consumed that much – but it wasn’t her decision to get raped. And to hear that his father and friends backed him up and blamed the girl in this situation and that “20 minutes” of his actions would ruin his reputation. Um, hello? His reputation is already ruined BECAUSE of his “20 minutes” of actions.

I am not one to throw out race – but I do see that money can definitely buy you freedom. And that is what Turner got. 6-months and he’s “free”. Are you really? Free of manipulation? Free of shame? Saying that a longer term will ruin his swimming career? Your “reputation”? What about the freedom your victim has now? She has no freedom. She will be haunted in years to come. Every garbage disposal she passes by will flash a memory. Every sip of alcohol she drinks will make her disgusted. Every time a man intimately touches her, she will be defensive. Sure, years to come it won’t affect her as much. But one little thing can trigger that memory. Who would want you? You are known now to the world as a rapist. But, since your family is wealthy enough to hire a good lawyer – who I think is a scum as well for the accusations he made against the victim – what else would you get away with? Rape is rape. And although his sentence is only 6-months in county jail, he will NEVER get away from it.

I could only see where this is going to lead to. And it leaves me fearful. I fear that with one getting away – who else would get away? I fear that months will go by and this story will be a thing of the past. Until another victim speaks out. I’m so sad about what had happened to this poor girl, but in a way I’m proud of her – for facing the man that took everything away from her. So many victims leave it unsaid. But she was able to verbally express what this has done to her – she may not have remembered the events that happen but she will definitely remember what it did to her. In a way, this story has opened up new stories from around the world where rape is a huge epidemic and it has opened everyone’s eyes. Don’t be a victim. Defend yourself. Speak up. Be aware of your surroundings. This could be your mother, your sister, your cousin, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor. It could even be your father, your brother, your son.

I pray for him and his family. I pray that the backlash they receive would help them find their fault. And I pray for the victim. I pray that she finds peace. And although this has been very traumatizing for her – I’m sure – I pray that it would not ruin her. There are people out there that can help. This can take on an emotional, physical, psychological impact on someone and you are not alone. Seek help before it gets worse.

no excuses

First off, Congratulations to the graduating class of 2016! What a huge accomplishment! No matter how long it took you – you did it! Especially during a time where going to school was way to expensive, colleges and programs were impacted, and the cost of living continued to rise – you overcame adversity, late night studying, papers, waking up early and going to sleep late – it’s a great feeling after all that hard work to finally be able to say “I’m done!”

We attended one of my best friends graduation this past weekend and we celebrated not only being able to walk across the stage – but we celebrated her. She has come a long way, and everyone around her saw how much hard work and dedication she puts into achieving her goals. You really can’t help but to want to celebrate that! She overcame adversity, she remained standing when people continuously tried to pull her down, she remained strong and is one of the strongest, hard working, single moms that I know and everyone should learn from her. I’m proud to call her one of my best friends. We’ve grown up together. I wasn’t around as much after high school and throughout my college career – but what she’s done definitely did not become unnoticed and I look up to her more than she knows.

Which leads us to the real question of today’s topic – what’s your excuse? Every day is a struggle. Every day someone is faced with a reality to get up and do something. To face their fear – to let go of every excuse they have – and just get it done. No matter what the goal they are reaching for is. The journey is the best part but one of the greatest feelings in the world is being able to accomplish something you’ve worked so hard to get to. Rocks may be thrown at us, words can bring us down, there will always be those people that are going against us – that don’t think we can achieve it, that will always bring negativity our way that would want to force us to give up.

And then, there are those people that will forever root for you. Your greatest support system. The people that want to see succeed. The people that will pull you up when you are down and lift you up when you are stuck. There are the people that will walk across fire with you. Those are the people you do it for. Those are the people that will be at the finish line waiting for you and cheering you on. Do it for them. Pull every excuse out of your vocabulary, throw it away. There’s a reason why you started. Don’t give up. The finish line might be closer than you think. Take it one step at a time. Get rid of those negative people in your life and focus on the positive. Have no excuse. Work towards your goals… YOU CAN DO IT!

An open letter

Whether or not someone reads this or whether or not the person/people this is intended for reads this, it doesn’t matter. It’s time to write things out. It’s time to write again. It’s time to express everything – get it out in the open and let the universe work its magic.

I never thought of myself being better than anyone. Every day I observe the people around me. And with each person I take qualities of them that I can take to improve myself. Not because I want to be like them, but because I want to learn from them. I learn from people every day. People influence me tremendously. And the actions of others – whether they’re around me or not – are a HUGE reason why I am the way that I am. I see their body language, the way they speak, the way they eat, the way they walk, the way they sit, the way they stand – I see the way they act around people and alone. I see the things they post, the things they write about, talk about. I see things when they try to make it unnoticed – but I notice. But I try to not make assumptions. Too often are people focused on the “he said, she said”, on the “what’s wrong with him/her”, on the “who does he/she think they are”, on the “how come I can’t do this or that” – but too often do we underestimate the power of the “why”. Dig deeper and for every action there is a reason. There is something in everyone’s past that shaped them into being the person they are today. I analyze people – sometimes over analyze. The negative thing about it, though, is that I am an introvert because of it. I start to focus on the people those people are influenced by – I start to think if I fit in. And if I don’t see a place for me in that circle, I’ll stray away.  I keep to myself a lot. I’m not an open book unless someone asks – I’ll filet myself on the table for someone to see the real me, to know me, and to know my story but I do it with caution. It leads me to a dilemma for myself. Trust is huge for me. Yes, I’ll let you know me – but it’s if you’ll use it against me that stops me.  And if I don’t let people see the real me it’s used against me anyways – it leads to people making assumptions of me. Let’s be real, I’m like you – I’ll look at people’s pictures, judge them on what we see on social media, automatically assume the type of person they are, but I stop myself. The golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. And I for sure would not want someone to think falsely of me based on what they’ve seen in the past. We see the type of person they were and not the type of person they are trying to become. So I start to take notice of people’s “why”.

I didn’t start to notice until I moved away for college. Until I was forced to live outside of where I was already comfortable. Until I started to meet new people, build new relationships, learn new things, and embark in new adventures. I would say I’ve grown a lot because of it but I do have to admit that I’ve still got a lot more growing to do. Every day I work on bettering myself than I was yesterday. Every morning I wake up with a purpose – to be able to see a change in myself and influence the people around me to do the same. I thank God every morning for another day. I am not perfect, but I thank God for making me perfect enough – for him and for everyone around me. And I thank God for the people he has surrounded me with. Whether they are in my life now or from the past. There are two types of people God puts into our lives – people we grow from and people we grow with.

In life God doesn’t give you the people you want, instead He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and make you exactly the way you should be.”

So here’s an open letter to the people I’ve crossed paths with, the people who are now in my past, the people who are in my present, and the people who I am bound to meet along the way: Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to learn from you. Thank you for allowing me to be in your presence – to laugh with you, cry with you, be mad with you, be happy with you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life – even it were for only a second. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry for any negative energy I may have passed along to you. I am sorry for any negative impressions I have left of myself to you. I am sorry for any arguments, judgments, comments, facial expressions, body language, words unsaid.  I understand that some bridges are burned and it’s impossible to fix it. But I am glad that relationship was built anyway. Some relationships are like wrinkled paper – they’ve been unfolded but unfortunately aren’t how they used to be. And there are those relationships that are unchanged – the people who have stuck by me through thick and thin. The people who have seen me at my worst and who love me just the way that I am. My circle is small but I love big because of it. I’m a Leo – one of the most predominant traits of a Leo is that we are driven by the desire to be loved and admired. Although I don’t think I’m royalty, I do believe that I can be an influence. So join me in my journey to be able to express myself daily – whether it be about life, love, family, fitness, business. I work on improving myself every day and I my only hope is that you do too. Start thinking about someone’s “why”. But before you do that – you must think about your “why”. Think about your purpose. Because what I’ve learned after I’ve understood my “why” is that there is so much more to a person than what we see and it took me awhile to really comprehend that. Life isn’t easy and it wasn’t meant to be, but it is the reason why you get up in the morning that makes it possible.